Poetry.

As I write this, I am considering doing a series on poetry.  As it so happens, a friend of mine and I were discussing poetry this morning; specifically, she was asking for help in writing poetry, and how one might approach and learn it from the aspect of one whose experience is very limited.

In this, I am going to be thorough, but will be avoiding some of the more intricate details that really don’t matter unless there is a desire to understand at a high level.

Freeverse vs Form

First, let’s separate freeverse poetry from form poetry.  Simply explained, freeverse is loose, and follows no set parameters – whereas form poetry is structured, following a certain set of rules, which vary from form to form.  In the world of modern poetry, many poets have a tendency to consider anything rhyming as form poetry, but this is not the case.

Form poetry is often built around ‘meter’ which we will delve into shortly.

Freeverse poetry is simple, but incredibly difficult to do well.  There are a great many ways to say something, and what has come to be the popularized ‘slam’ poetry, and any type of freeverse that even remotely resembles such “poetry” is something that I shy away from (indeed, you might hear my disdain for it more than once if ever sat in a discussion with me regarding poetry).

Form poetry follows a set of rules.  Sonnets are fourteen line poems that are written in iambic pentameter.  Within this set of poems are subsets, including but not limited to, Petrarchan and Shakespearean sonnets, both with their own rhyming scheme.

Common measure is written in iambic tetrameter/trimeter, alternating in quatrain sets.

Meter

But, I am going to save specific forms for their own post.  Here, I want to go into meter, and why it matters.

The beauty of the English language is how easily it is find that melody, that lilt, which serves to make meter easier to master than in other languages, as it is almost natural, even if we never notice it.

The following are some rules to remember when writing form poetry:

1. Poetry, and especially form poetry, is as much meant to be spoken as it is to be written. This means that it is vital to speak it out loud in order to hear the cadence of the words as the poet might read or speak it.
2. The message is more important than the form itself. This isn’t to say that a 16 line poem can be called a sonnet, nor can a poem that is written more like prose.  With this said, however, my favorite poet, William Wordsworth, gained some notoriety in his form poetry for not sticking strictly to iambic meter, instead choosing to keep his message, even if that meant adding a spondee or a trochee (both of which I will go into soon in discussing meter).
3. What is the message? This is different from the above in that different forms offer different services to the poet’s voice.  A limerick is often a single quatrain written in common measure, and has most often been used for short little quips, and often meant for humor.  A sonnet has more range, because of its length, and a rondel might be in between these two, as it focuses on a very particular message.

Meter –

Simply defined, meter is based on what is called a ‘foot’.  It is important to remember that the end of a line is most often considered on the last stressed syllable.  A ‘foot’ is most often two syllables as seen in the following:

1. Iamb – one ‘foot’ of an unstressed and stressed syllable, in that order.
   • Think of the word ‘unstressed’ and say it out loud.  Do you hear how the ‘un’ feels short, and ‘stressed’ feels long?  This is an example of an iamb.
2. Trochee – one ‘foot’ of a stressed and unstressed syllable, in that order.
   • Let’s use ‘garden’ as an example.  Again, say it out loud and listen to the lilt.  ‘gar’ is stressed (long), and ‘den’ is unstressed (short).
3. Spondee – one ‘foot’ of two stressed syllables.
   • Spondees are almost never found in single words, and in a poem are often two stressed single syllable words strung together, as in ‘swift sweet’.
4. Pyrrhic – one ‘foot’ of two unstressed syllables (although it is commonly taught that a ‘foot’ requires a stressed syllable to be considered a foot).
   • I found this example, although this is a tricky one, because when speaking it out loud, while technically pyrrhic, we will still have a tendency to stress the first or second syllable, depending on the other stressed syllables in the line.
   • This is important when writing form.  In the following, the bold words are the pyrrhic feet, “To a green thought in a green shade.”

The above are the most common, but there are also three others to keep in mind.  Because those feet already aforementioned can easily fall into any of the following, and vice versa, depending on what the poet wishes to achieve, I will not give any examples.  These are more than two syllables:

5. Dactyl – Because a ‘foot’ requires at least one stressed syllable in order to be a foot, this is an instance where the stressed syllable comes first and is then followed by two unstressed syllables. Because of the way the above ‘feet’ are defined, this could very easily be overlooked, and often is.
6. Anapest – Similar to a dactyl, but the other way around. This is two unstressed syllables followed by a stressed syllable.  Same thoughts which apply to the dactyl apply here.
7. There is also the Amphibrach, which is an unstressed syllable, followed by a stressed, followed by an unstressed.

Next is how these are used in a line.  As you saw above, I had mentioned some of these, such as trimeter, or pentameter.  So I’m just going to break these down, at least for the most common uses of lines:

1. Monometer – Just as the name implies. One ‘foot’ line.
2. Dimeter – Two ‘feet’ line
3. Trimeter – Three ‘feet’ line
4. Tetrameter – Four ‘feet’ line
5. Pentameter – Five ‘feet’ line
6. Hexameter – Six ‘feet’ line

And I’m sure you get the point.  It is rare that forms really go beyond pentameter, although they do exist.

In Practice

And so, I’m going to place here both a common measure poem and a sonnet to help understand the line length and the meter.

Here is the link to my sonnet, Falling Castles.  Tear it apart, line by line, and let me know what you see?  Is it written in perfect iambic pentameter?  Or did I take some liberties with it?

https://shadowyembrace.com/portfolio/falling-castles-2/

The following poem is Tale of the Whippoorwill’s Sorrow, a poem written in common measure, but instead of a limerick, I instead decided to use the common measure help tell a story in a much more melodic way, as this form lends itself to such a sway.

https://shadowyembrace.com/portfolio/tale-of-the-whippoorwills-sorrow/

With all of this said, there are so many forms.  Villanelles, Rondeaus, Rondels, Quaterns, Haiku, Trijan Refrain, Rubaiyat, etc, etc…each with their own rules to follow.  Understanding meter is simply the first step to gaining a firm foothold into form poetry.

Here is the first poem I ever wrote.  A freeverse poem, written from the eyes of love, as I understood it at the time.

Through Love’s Eyes

But of love, which if a mouth it had
from whence it was born,
Would speak, painfully clad,
only in scorn
Except to that which is beautifully adorned
And to think of all this
Is to make the heart miss
what only mattered most
As though it were a splendid kiss
long forgotten, a shadowy ghost
But lo! Behold!
Love, for love to no longer run cold –
must dream,
Dreaming dreams of heavenly beings
Then a smile doth appear across love’s face
For joyous is the thought in love’s embrace

Where love’s own doubt feeds subtle fears
Her solemn ember dies
Upon quiet’s altar; borne tears
Of wanton doubts or lies

You shy – a wanderer’s escape
Beyond the hills of yore,
Your yesteryear your bane, soul shaped
Through somber, sorrowed scores.

If only you could find release,
If only you’d believe,
My Love, our love would know His peace,
I’d feel your heart’s reprieve.

And yet, I fight this fight alone,
My soul laid bare, abused;
A sundered hope which still atones
For remnants once confused

You hold my dreams, my tomorrows,
The joy for which I’d dare
To drown away your ev’ry sorrow,
And pray to be your air…

A good editor seeks to enhance your work by making it the best possible version of your voice as it can be.  Our goal is to aid the artist/writer in creating a fully formed story, complete with a cohesive tale and an easy to follow and accessible read.

Depending on what kind of editing is needed, whether copy editing, line editing, or proofreading (these are the three basic types, with other terms being used in place for one or more of the above), the editor will focus on one or more.  Often, a service such as copy editing will also include line editing and proofreading in the cost.

Our goal, like the writer’s, is to help build something that can reach those they might wish to reach.  With this in mind, let’s take a look at the different things editors seek out that will help the author to create a better story.

I am a writer myself, and although I edit and edit and edit my work, it NEEDS to get other eyes on it.  And believe me, it is a necessity, for fresh eyes will ALWAYS find more problems.  We cannot allow our pride to get in the way of what it is we are trying to do.

With this in mind, let’s jump right into it.

Gaps and Inconsistencies –

When writing, the goal is to have a set story in mind, which is probably why so many writers spend months or more thinking on how to create their story.

Sometimes they outline, or storyboard, or, as it is with some of us, we might do what a friend coined as ‘mindwriting,’ in which we create the story, more or less, as it might be, but won’t write anything down, instead committing it to our memory as one might something important in everyday life.

All of these tactics in the developmental stage of writing are meant as aids to help create a story that is devoid of inconsistencies, inasmuch as we might be able to avoid them.  The devil is in the details, and many times we might need to go back and finish detailing a story because of these missing elements.

My aim as I edit your work is to find any of these, whether it’s in the story itself, or in the jump from scene to scene.  Sweeping mistakes can be made with naught but the smallest of problems.

Time.  This is a huge one.  The passage of time is something that authors often don’t seem to have a firm grasp on.  They seem know what it looks like to them, within the story in their heads, but when put to paper (literal or figurative), time rarely seems to matter.

Things to think on with regards to time –

• How much time has passed?
• Was this “x” amount of days from the point of the last main event? Or from the end of the last chapter?  Or from the last mentioned day of the story? Etc., etc.
• Is the passage of time taken care of organically? (As in the story just naturally passes through time, with little mention of the days passing)  Or is the passage of time done with a direct mention of the number of days that have elapsed?  Both are good, and probably best if you use them both, but remember to keep the time consistent.

Questions I ask as an editor are simple –

• What is the plot, or overall storyline, and how is that fleshed out from the beginning to end?
• What is happening within the scene, between the characters, within the setting, etc?
• Are there any superfluous scenes which have no bearing on the story, and more importantly, do they serve a purpose in any way?

Syntax and Diction –

Syntax, simply put, is the sentence structure, how a sentence is pieced together.  It is the word choice, the puzzle, as it were, of fitting together a whole sentence.

This really comes down to style.  Every writer has a unique voice that seems to transcend whatever genre it is they might be writing, and it all comes down to their choice in wording and structure.

Diction is more about the conversational element of writing.

The difference from syntax is subtle, and some definitions have overlap between the two with regards to word choice, but diction is just as much about enunciation, particularly within the speech, let’s say, of a character.

Think about an individual who uses broken speech – what might that sound like?  Now, while considering such a thing, one must also consider the ease with which the reader would be able to make it out.

Too much can be a distraction, at best, and any distraction within the writing may lead to the reader putting down the book and not picking it up again.  Too much of this same distraction, and it’s a certainty.  It is important to think about this in terms of phrasing.

Passive Voice –

This is a big deal.

The passive voice in writing is defined through the subject of a sentence becoming the object.  However, to say it has no place in writing is wrong.  The reason for this is all about where the writer wishes to draw attention.

In passive voice, the attention is drawn toward the object experiencing the action, as opposed to committing the action.  This is important in understanding where passive voice can and should be used.

Most editors believe that passive voice is an absolute no-go.  However, it is far more important to know where the emphasis is, and why.  Consider the point of view, consider the object and how the character’s point of view sees the object.

Can passive voice be avoided at all times?  Absolutely.  Should it?  Probably 99% of the time, it should.  But that’s not to say it can’t be done properly, and it’ll always be in context with what comes before and after whatever passive sentence exists.

With so many ways to say something, the big deal is to say it the best possible way you can, every time, and without exception.  It is how the overall big picture comes together that defines whether or not the story is worth reading.

One can have the greatest story, but tell it in the worst possible way such that no one would ever be able to read it.  These things matter.

Proofreading –

As simple as it sounds.  This is checking for spelling errors, proper word usage, proper punctuation, and basic grammatical errors.

It is important to remember that proofreading is a mechanical check of the paper.  You want to make sure that the basic mechanics of the sentence, whether it’s comma usage, quotations, spelling, etc., are all adhered to throughout.  While proper sentence structuring could be considered a part of this, this most typically falls under line editing.

Final Thoughts

As I work through someone’s story, all these things are scrutinized, word by word, line by line, scene by scene, chapter by chapter.  These things matter separately, but making sure they all find a harmony with one another is what is most important to the overall story.  My job is to find that harmony, and to help my client achieve their goals.

It was the lull,
the soundlessness.
The dull, numbing, lack.
It was the tear,
the falling curtain.
Certainly her sorrows
were worn in her eyes.

It was the horror,
the creeping doubt,
which held her still.
A mirror, cold and silent,
returned her stares,
with eyes not her own.
Sorrowed tears fall.

Hope was forlorn,
a concept lost.
She thinks it was of
her making.

He comes to rescue,
but is irrelevant,
rendered a nothing,
a mere footnote.
It was his joy,
the moving mouth
she gazed upon,
from which no sound
could escape,
that sent her from him.

Or him from her.
It was her sadness,
her burden,
and no one could
be allowed
to take it from her.

This might come off as more of a rant than anything else, but for those of you who follow me who are readers, or writers, or editors, I believe you will find something worth reading here.

First, allow me to give you a bit of reasoning for this.  I was reading a completed book, fully published and all, and I noticed some glaring issues.  Now, when I say “glaring” I am not inferring that there were some minor errors detracting from the experience I like to enjoy as a reader.  I’m saying I had to stop reading it.  Regardless of how engrossing the story was, the issues pulled me out.

That being said, allow me to speak from the reader’s perspective first. 

There is nothing like getting lost in a book.  The wonder of a moment, or the horror of what the protagonist has to endure; perhaps, even, a life-changing event – and I’m not talking about the story, but how the story might shape my own life.  That being said, nothing pulls me from a story faster than an abundance of little things, or a horrible ending.  In the book I was reading, from the get go there was a problem with tense.  Hard to get drawn in when I’m seeing “are” “was” “is” and “were” all in the same sentence, or when there are commas where commas shouldn’t be, and a lack of commas where they surely should have been.  It wasn’t about the errors, but the amount of errors.

As the little problems start adding up, so too, does my disinterest.  If you, the author, cannot find the right people to help you, take the time.  Right now, indie authors get a bad rep from many avenues.  It’s as if we have to wade through the muck to find the gems.  Of course, the mainstream crap hasn’t been much kinder to us in recent years, which is why I often find myself re-reading the classics.  At least those are worth my time.  This goes along with something I learned a while back: when writing fantasy, I have found that unique fantastical names are cool, but we have to be cautious about it.  Names that are far too long or are impossible to pronounce, no matter how good the story might be, will pull us out, our suspension of disbelief halted as we seek out something we can dig into.

This leads us into my thoughts as a writer…

I know the struggles of a writer as well.  I understand notes, outlines, first drafts, second drafts, etc…  I know all too well the fact that the work going into these works of fiction or non-fiction, these works from within our mind, is intense and incredibly time consuming.  On top of all of this, odds are that only those closest to us will ever truly read and enjoy our work, as we struggle to find an audience in a prayer that we will be able to pay our bills one day without having to deal with the 9-5 grind.  Our realities and our dreams are often far too disparate for us to see any real hope of becoming the next J.K. Rowling, or GRRM.

However, I believe that my work should be able to speak for itself.  That my talents as a writer should be able to carry itself.  That if by some chance I could market myself well enough to gain interest, that interest would be rewarded with a good time lost in my words.  But that takes work, commitment.  It takes time and perseverance.  In addition to this, however, it also takes a bit of a strive for perfection.  We should be facing our goals with a determination to produce only the finest quality.

Why do we fall short?  Is it our stubbornness in not accepting criticism?  Maybe we depend on ourselves far too much to be able to see where our biggest faults lie, often in a struggle between what we want to do and who we allow into our inner circle, or mind for that matter.  We can word well, right?  So why do we need help?  And even for those of us who have multiple eyes on our works, things are still missed.  But small bits of mis-punctuation or typos can be acceptable as long there aren’t too many.  Even some minor line issues can be overlooked in a fantastic story.  The problem comes with the quantity found.

We need to park our collective egos, and not just ask for help, but accept it, no matter the form.

And, finally, thoughts from an editor…

My goal as a reader is to get lost in someone’s world.  My goal as a writer is to create such a world that others might get lost in it.  My goal as an editor is to help my client produce the best possible product – whether it’s a novel, short story, poem, or any number of technical documents or resumes.

I firmly believe that everyone has their own voice.  And if I cannot find a voice in their writing I will take the time to work with them so that they can find their story, told only in the way they can tell it.  With that said, however, I am certain to point out any and all issues, or potential issues, in their manuscripts.  There are various types of editing: proofreading, line editing, copy editing, content editing, developmental editing, among other types, and many of these overlap in meaning from person to person.  Finding a trusted, good editor can make all the difference between publishing a story and publishing a story that will be able to keep our readers engaged.

We should care as much about the manuscript as our client does.  Some of us might ask for a summary of the story in an effort to see how well the author actually knows their story, and also to understand how the story is supposed to unfold.  If an editor turns down your work because of too many problems, do not be dismayed, but fix these issues, unless you’re willing to pay your editor for the proofreading as well.  Personally, I can handle it all, but sometimes it looks as though the writer just sent us a first draft, without really trying to give us something to work with.  At this point, what you’re asking for is developmental editing, and that will end up very costly.  Use tools found in Word, or OpenOffice, or any other writing program you use.  There are tools such as Grammerly, or the Hemingway app.

If you want your editor to care about your story, please care enough to do the work as well…

Thanks for your time.

Robert

Icarus’ desire sought the sun
and wrought a father’s sorrow,
a dance with Fate might melt,
but what of the glory of the sun?

What sheer magnificence he saw.
How wonderful Icarus’ view –
that he could gaze upon the sun,
and indeed, the world, as he did?

What is the measure of strength? What is strength? What arbitrary lines have been drawn in the sand that tell me how or what or why?

I have spent much of my life in various forms of martial arts. Starting at four when my dad first suspected that I was being sexually molested, I was being trained, privately, by masters in these various forms. In my dad’s eyes, it would be best if I weren’t a victim, and the best way to not be a victim is to know how to defend oneself.

But while the majority of martial arts is internal, and can certainly help against those things that are not physical, at four this is not the purpose, nor is it the focus.

You see, it was the physical defense that meant more to my dad. A bookworm like me would most likely be considered physically weak by my peers, so what better way to protect me from that than by teaching me how to protect myself? This is the perception of strength with which I grew up. This is what strength meant to me for so long, and in many ways it isn’t wrong…it’s simply incomplete.

Physical strength is but one small aspect. When I joined the military, following in my father’s footsteps, he told me that it would all come down to heart. He made me understand that I was going to be trained to kill, to take the life of another human being, and that I must be okay with that if I am to serve the nation in such a capacity. He helped me realize that the physical was nothing compared to the ability to persevere in the face of adversity, that I had to have the strength to overcome the degradation, the yelling, the belittling. I was a prideful young man, confident in his intelligence, so I must park my ego.

This led me to discovering even more about life. Being physically strong is good, being able to defend myself was great, but the real strength lies within. It was the most important aspect of all the martial arts I’d taken over the years, and it was only barely being understood.

One day, I decided to face my demons, head-on. This led to a journey of self discovery that I am eternally grateful for. For I was able to become just a little bit better, I was able to grow into someone better than I had been. I was once a rage-filled individual fighting daily for the acceptance of those around me. I became a pacifist who was at peace with himself for the first time.

I am still a fighter. I still value intelligence above all else. But I also value the spirit, the heart of those around me. Strength, I have learned, is not about protecting myself against those who mean to wrong or harm me, it goes beyond that. It goes into the spirit. True strength is being able to look yourself in the mirror and actually like who you see looking back at you. True strength is celebrating the greatness in other around you without any need for validation for yourself. True strength is loving the unlovable. True strength is being able to withstand others trying to tear you down yet standing as firm as a mountain. It’s standing up for what you believe in when it isn’t popular or socially acceptable. True strength is often found in the outcast, the misfit, the broken, for they have found a way to continue on when so many would simply tap out.

I am a man who is prone to depression. And I am not alone – this is the important bit. For the time being, we are still standing, and many are fighting their fight alone, their strength waning. It is not a bad thing to lose heart, it is a bad thing to think that the only strength is that found in doing it alone, for the true weakness is found in not asking for help, as I had refused. Twice, I nearly killed myself. But I was lucky both times. First because of my grandmother who had died believing in me, and second because a friend saw the signs and ordered me to see someone…

Perhaps, sometimes in weakness we can find our strength as well. Lessons learned…

Thanks for reading.